Joke Clown

Send Us Mail
              Your One Stop Comedy Shop

* Little Joe's Dream *

"It's like a whirlwind in here," said Little Joe," Stick close to the sides". So we all pressed back against the wall being careful not to interfere. After all, this was his dream, and we, were just his guests. Besides, those howling banshee winds had begun to gain in momentum, and with all the spiraling debris, I thought it would be best to stay out of harm's way. It was quite exciting, you know, and I, for the first time was glad to have been invited.

It had started out kind of boring, just your general run of the mill stuff, you know. There were a couple of your basic déjà' vous scenario's, but I , not having the benefit of Little Joe's memories, failed to grasp the impact of the situation. Another sequence had Little Joe kicking the shit out of his father, ya know, just your basic stuff. One particularly amusing scenario had Little Joe getting rather hot and heavy with Debbie. All the females in the crew blanched at this sight, and Debbie, having also been invited, was visibly shaken to the core. As for the male members of the crew, this particular sight brought on droves of laughter, Cat calls, and even a few, 'Go get it Joe' comments. You see each of us at some point in time had had Debbie in much the same position, so to speak - In our own perspective dreams of course. And since it wasn't me going at it with old Debbie, It did little more than amuse me.

I mean all of that is cool in itself and all, but it was still just your basic dream stuff. I expected that stuff, ya know, predictability is Little Joe's middle name. The Debbie incident excluded, these dream scenarios were not turning out to be impressive. That was, of course, before we came in here. This, was cool.

It was definitely something different. I mean, everyone's probably got their own bizzarro dream scapes. It's just that Joe had never struck me as the kind of guy to have stuff like this. The room was kinda glowy like and as we entered a couple of dogs ran out, complaining how nobody ever knocks any more. I try not to pay much attention to talking animals in my own dreams, so I refrained from offering an apology.

The walls in here were kinda cavey looking and reminded me of an old Star Trek set, or a new one for that matter. The wind was blowing fiercely, stirring up all manner of rubbish, and throwing it hither and tither. There were a few ominous lightning bolts. the noise from which, caused the whole crew to press even closer to the walls. There was one of those clapping monkeys, that everybody hates, on a shelf across the room. The oddest thing I saw, though, was out in the center of the turmoil. In the middle of the spiraling debris stood one of those warped mirrors, like in a fun house. This mirror, out there in the center, began to pick at my curiosity.

After surveying the new surroundings, I looked over at Joe. He was standing out away from everybody else, with his arms spread wide. He kinda looked like Vanna White displaying a dream vacation or something. He was spinning in a circle exalting in the awe of the general chaos. For a split second our eyes met, and I gave him the old thumbs-up gesture, as if to say, 'pretty fuckin cool man,' kinda like Fonzie would have. It probably looked pretty fuckin stupid, but with the confusion I think it went unnoticed. The rest of the crew seemed to be in some kind of trance, with a myriad of expressions, from humor to horror, stretched cross their faces.

I waved to get Joe's attention, and yelled," Is all this stuff yours?" I don't think he heard me though, cause he just sorta nodded with one of those 'whatever' smiles on his face. Joe was funny that way, he'd rather look stupid, then admit he didn't here you. I think maybe, because he was ascared of lookin stupid.

Now the mirror in the center started to glow an orangy- sherbert ice-cream kind of color. Beens' as how I'd always liked orange sher-bert, It caused me no foreboding. The crew on the other hand, went weazle eyed. Meanwhile Little Joe was struggling to make his way towards me through the wind. He looked like that mime dude, Marso Marso, or something. I commented, on how funny it looked to Debbie, who was standing immediately to my right. She sorta grunted, obviously still troubled by her and Joe's impromptu sexual encounter.

Joe pushed up beside me against the wall, with sweat running little rivulets on his face. "So," he said between labored breaths, "whatta ya think?"

"I don't know man," I hesitated. "I mean, when you said you had weird dreams, well ya know, I expected the old going to class, having forgot to get dressed. Or maybe you being in a room full of women, where-in you knew you had sex with everyone, but as they left you noticed a couple of dudes in the glossy-eyed crowd, ya know. I, uh, I never thought it would be like this man."

"No," Joe said with a chuckle, "It's always been like this."

"This is great," I said barely controlling my excitement. " So, what happens next?"

"This is it," Joe said, "The mirror glows and I just sit here and watch everything kinda float around."

Well I was shocked. He did not just tell me that 'this is it!'. Little Joe, at that moment, was turning out to be kind of a toad in my eyes. "That's it," I questioned disbelievingly. "This can't just be it, Joe. Something else has got to happen here. I mean, shit Joe!" I paused, "Ain't there no naked flyin' women with hair and veils, that always seem to cover up the good parts?"

"Nope," he said, "Just this. Sometimes theres a couple a dogs going at it in the corner. I don't pay much attention to em though, outta respect ya know." At this point I was starting to get a little pissed off at Little Joe. " You better do something Joe," I said irritably. "Ya know, I passed up a dream with Genniffer Flowers and Tom Slick for this. I mean, It's your dream, damn it, so get out there and do something Joe. Take control man."

Little Joe, kinda scratched his head as if in deep thought,(Yeah, um, Right). "Well," He stammered, "I, uh-guess I could, um-go out there and, uh-see what I look like in that mirror."

"Your damn right, you could," I berated him. "You better do some-thing Joe. I mean, yeah sure this wind is cool and all, and I guess my dream will probably go all right without me. Tom will still get elected, and Genniffer will still get her Playboy/Penthouse spreads. I can catch all that on reruns, but Joe, something else has got to happen here."

I'm guessing I pretty much galvanized him into action. "All right, all right," said Little Joe. He then stepped away from the wall, spreading his arms like Moses or something. I imagine he thought this looked pretty cool, I slapped a hand to my forehead thinking, "What a dork." Joe then addressed the rest of the crew, "Everybody stand back, I'm gonna try sumptin!" We were all ready standing against the wall, I thought, how far back did he want us. I turned to Debbie and said, "Can you believe this?" She gave another grunt, as Little Joe began his Marso Marso impression again, furiously pushing his way through the wind.

The crew meanwhile started jostling around like spooked cattle, and I was busy searching for the source of that eerie Pink Floyd'ish heartbeat music. The wind had picked up into a deafening howl, and after my brief disappointment, I was actually getting back to a state of revelry.

Joe was halfway to the mirror when he turned around, and gave me the Fonzie thumbs up gesture. I noticed how stupid it looked, and since the crew was watching, I failed to return the gesture. Joe shrugged his shoulders, and continued on his way.

He finnally stepped up to the mirror. From my position, I couldn't see Joe's reflection in the mirror. I, none the less, had a feeling that something cool was about to happen. I watched as Joe stood there for a few seconds, and then he exposed himself before the mirror.

What the hell, I thought to myself, I didn't know what was going on out there. I couldn't complain, however, I mean, at least he was showing some kind of initiative. Little Joe, still looking in the mirror, stepped off to the side, stepped back, stepped the other way, then back again. I watched with growing anticipation as Joe, gyrated his hips around a few times. Then he turned, his expression was angry. He was pointing at the mirror, and yelling something I couldn't hear through the wind.

Suddenly, the wind just stopped, as if someone had shut a door or something. I looked down the line of crew members against the wall and realized someone had shut the door. So, I turned back to Little Joe, "What did you say?" I called out to him.

With anger in his voice, little Joe yelled back, "His is bigger!" Well, the crew started laughing, and everything got pretty silly after that.


[ Back ]


Tell All Your Facebook Peeps.

Now Share Us On Google Plus