Joke Clown

Send Us Mail
              Your One Stop Comedy Shop

Eragon the movie...
a Movie Review by JestaFreak

Eragon the movie...

...was a piece of shit!!!!

This is basically my very first movie review/book review so bare with me.

I luckily did not suffer the disappointment of having seen this movie in the theater as I would have had to pull a South Parke'sque thing and gone somewhere to demand my money back. I was able to avoid an aggravated battery charge by avoiding the theatre.

I have read a lot of Fantasy Novels and I have to tell you when I bought the book Eragon and it's sequel Eldest I was skeptical of a book written by a teenager. I read the book straight through as it was that good. I had a few minor complaints but over all I was highly impressed with the book and its sequel. Especially considering that the guy that wrote it was only 19 when he finished the first one.

I was pretty hopeful for the movie when I heard it was going to be released. I figured in this post LOTR world it should be a pretty good movie. I had no idea that someone would take like four sentences from the book and rewrite the entire god damn story. They saved money by eliminating the costume expenses for the elves and dwarves and just wrote them out of the script. Amongst many other things they omitted like any form of combat training for the hero Eragon.

They gave Malkovitch Malkovitch an entirely created role of the evil king because in the first book he is never once seen in person, only talked about. As for his acting, I can only assume that he is sorrry he accepted the role. His character does nothing but look mean and speak harshly. It is reminiscent of Jack Palance playing Skeletor in the he-man movie except Jack had more lines.

It seems like they were trying to ram the made up story down my throat or for most of the film as there was virtually no character development. Or at least nothing that stuck to the original story.

The guy that wrote this book should fire his agent and sue him for a gross misrepresentation. The script writer should have his entrails strung out and pee'd upon, then stuffed back inside him. The director should be shot without a cigarette and then pee'd upon.

They could have done so much more with this story in this day and age, and instead they jerked off on a pretty damn good fantasy novel.

I beg you if you have not already seen this bundled turd of a movie, please avoid it. Or at the very least do not pay for it. Do not let your children pay to see it. If you do pay to see it then I suggest you quickly burn 15 pirate copies immediately and just give them away to prevent someone else from paying for it. Give them to homeless people if you must.

Lucky for me I got it free during a free 2 week trial of blockbusters netflix type program. And yes I still feel like I was ripped off.

You would do better to buy the book and act it out yourself. Not that the acting was bad, it was pretty fair in fact, but you would do the story far more justice this way.

That is all I have to say about the subject.

Check Out both books by all means CLICKITY for Eragon and Eldest box set. But stay away from the movie.

Eragon, eragon the movie, a Movie Review, Movie review of Eragon, Eldest, book review, by Christopher Paolini, by, JestaFreak

6 - 26 - 03

[ Back ]


Tell All Your Facebook Peeps.

Now Share Us On Google Plus